Pretty Maids All in a Row
by J. Maria
Summary: 100 ficlets and drabbles focusing on Spike & River Tam for joss100.
1. Death Perceived

Title: Death Perceived  
author: jmaria  
Rating: PG  
pairing: Spike, River

joss100 Set, Prompt: 2, #36. Death  
Words: 160  
Disclaimer: Joss owns them, I do not  
Summary: You're death to all

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Death Perceived

"You're death to me, to all, you think I don't see, but I do," River Tam said quietly through the curtain of hair that protected her eyes from him.

"Can't argue with you there, love." Spike replied, taking a deep drink of the red colored liquor Kaylee had made in _Serenity's_ engine room.

"Can't taste, can't feel, but still, you're -"  
"Love, you can't read me. I'm not your type," Spike cut her off.

"Go back to dancing, go back to being a gorram doll, go back to what I can't be. Got meddled with, both of us. Haven't the right to meddle, to tell people what they can't be. Haven't the right."

"Rarely do, love."

"It's a dance, isn't it?"

"What is?" Spike narrowed his eyes at the girl.

"Death. Life. Everything." Her eyes locked onto his, and Spike felt like he did in the days he and Dru were together.

"That's what they say," was his only reply.


	2. Impenetrable

Title: Impenetrable  
author: jmaria  
Rating: PG  
pairing: Spike, River

joss100 Set, Prompt: 2, #099. _Writer's Choice_ - Void  
Words: 141  
Disclaimer: Joss owns them, I do not  
Summary: You're a void, something I can't penetrate

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Impenetrable

There is a void, it hovers all around him. The others on board have a feel, a taste, a smell all their own. Kaylee's mind is like strawberries on a warm summer day, and Wash's like a puppet show vibrating with children's laughter. Spike is a blank canvas, scarred and frayed beyond recognition. He is proof, solid, but his mind is missing.

She's never met the blissful quiet, not since two by two, hands of blue meddled where they ought have not. He is a blank wall, untapped silence. The world is peaceful in his steely gaze. His mind is at peace, but his eyes dance with the untapped, unending violence that he would breathe, if he could. She finds peace in the void. Peace through violence's embrace. He is the barrier they sought to break, only to come away untouched.


	3. About the Bit

Title: About the Bit  
author: jmaria  
Rating: PG  
pairing: Spike, River

joss100 Set, Prompt: 2, #026. Dark

Words: 156  
Disclaimer: Joss owns them, I do not  
Summary: What she is to him. . .

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About the Bit

She's fragile, like the bit. Tough as nails, like the slayer. Brilliant like Red, crazy like Dru. She dances and fights fluidly, he's seen her knock that oaf Jayne flat as a rail sometimes, but there's a gentleness in it. More than once, she's done it for his own good, and even that thick tit realizes it. She's an innocent, Spike can see that.

Not as innocent and naive as little Kaylee, the ship's sweetheart. She's as tough as nails, like Zoe, but only when she needs to be. She can be as alluring as Inara, but uses that as a last resort.

"I've forgotten how to be one or the other," she says, in alluding to nothing at all.

"The bloody riddle wrapped in an enigma, eh?" he laughs, knowing that she'll smile a bit at that.

"Still in the dark, can't find how to be."

"Not the only one, love. Not in the least."


	4. Through the Eyes of Innocence Lost

Title: Through the Eyes of Innocence Lost  
author: jmaria  
Rating: PG  
pairing: Spike, River, Jayne

joss100 Set, Prompt: 2, #049. First Love

Words: 354  
Disclaimer: Joss owns them, I do not pout  
Summary: _That's _the one you love?  
A/N: Because I'm a Rayne addict . . .also set only after _Objects in Space. _Set in the same 'verse as _I Find You Irksome _(a Simon, Illyria centric fic).  
Set (because we all know the insanity that is me): Little Girl with a Big Gun - 1/6.

_Through the Eyes of Innocence Lost_

The captain had told them that there was likely to be a spot of tension between Jayne and any newcomers to _Serenity_. Spike didn't really care, figgered he could take the bloke, if need be. Not that he was expectin' a fight - hoping for one, definitely. When he, the Poof, and Blue got on at Beaumond, they hadn't been expecting more than a quiet trip outta the core.

Things were mighty dangerous for a demon-king, and two vamps creeping up into their 800 and 700's respectfully. Being in the black kept 'em far away from the Sun-that-was-no-more, and these new worlds didn't have suns quite as powerful. Lube up with some sunscreen, and Mr. Vamp could be like Joe Average.

Didn't expect to meet a bird who'd remind him so strongly of Dru on her best days and the bit on her worst. Didn't expect to find himself playin' mentor to the wounded little bird, who had the _potential_. And that's how he found hisself on the wrong side of the big man a sight quicker than the rest.

The man actually tried to choke him when he'd been dancing with the bit. 'Course his idea of dancing was a bit different than Jayne's, and the girl took the blow well enough. Man saw red anyway, and Spike found himself getting well acquainted with the cargo hold's hull.

"You do realize that _chokin_' me ain't gonna kill me," Spike said after about five minutes of this.

Obviously he hadn't. Took Mal's threatening to shoot him if he didn't stop and River's hand laid gently on his to get him to stop.

"I'll be in my bunk," Jayne grumbled before stomping off.

Spike only laughed. River looked at him oddly, irritation in her eyes as clear as the bit's would have been if he'd been laughin' at _her_ boyfriend.

"Coulda picked worst for your first love, bit. Mine was a snob of a girl what got turned into a vengeance demon. Oh, and Dru. Course, you'd be all about the bad boys."

"Not bad, misunderstood," River murmured staring at Jayne's back as it disappeared.


	5. Crazy For You

Title: Crazy For You  
author: jmaria  
Series: Buffy/Firefly Fanmix  
joss100: 014. The Past  
Disclaimer: Joss is God, I am not.  
Spoilers: Both shows, not the BDM  
Words: 171  
Summary: _You're so close but still a world away_ - River ponders Spike and what he's lacking.  
A/N: This drabble was written in about ten minutes as I was trying to fall asleep. Also, this is part 1 of twenty drabbles/ficlets done for no real reason (although, I managed to use this part for one of my 100 Spiver drabbles for joss100). The song is _Crazy For You_ by Madonna off of the _13 Going On 30_ soundtrack.

_**Crazy For You**_

"_You're so close but still a world away."_

River glanced over at the echoes imprinted on her mind as they stood before her. A man with golden hair was reaching for a blonde haired woman. Their hands entwined in a fiery final embrace, but they were miles away from each other. Tears shone in the woman's eyes, but his were clear and knowing.

He'd always fallen hard and fast, and in her own way, so had she. She hadn't been his first, nor would she be his last. But she'd been the one who'd meant the most to him, above all else. River blinked as he stiffened, turned, and faced her.

Spike stared at the girl when he'd felt her eyes fall heavily on him. For half a second, the gleam in her eyes reminded him do much of Dru. And then she smiled at him, and if his heart could of skipped a beat, it would have. River simply slipped around her brother and the mercenary and up the stairs.

That smile had been all of the Slayer's.


	6. Ain't Worth It

Title: Ain't Worth It  
author: jmaria  
Rating: PG  
pairing: Spike, River, Jayne

joss100 Set, Prompt: 2, #011. Jealousy

Words: 322  
Disclaimer: Joss owns them, I do not pout  
Summary: Like to do a thousand things, but would it even be worth it?  
A/N: Set after _Objects in Space,_ and in the same 'verse as _I Find You Irksome _(a Simon, Illyria centric fic)  
Set (because we all know the insanity that is me): Little Girl with a Big Gun - 2/6.

_Ain't Worth It_

The girl was downright evil, no matter what any of the crew had to say. Jayne was sick a seein' her draped all over that big city dandy who'd shown up with his little freak show. Gorram moon-brain was playin' on him all the time, and Jayne was gettin' sick of it. Before them three showed up, girl'd been given him odd little looks and teasin' him. Now that she had that little _hundan_, she didn't even talk to him.

Not that he were jealous or nothin'. Just weren't right, and it stuck some in his craw that the girltook as damn easy to the new passengers than she did the damn crew. 'Course, she'd took right quick to 'Nara, Kaylee, and Wash. Jayne pulled out his knife and went back to cleaning it, tried his damnedest to ignore her happy giggles as she'd play with the blonde boob. Ain't even worth irritatin' hisself over who moon-brain was spendin' her time with, nor how they was spendin' it. She weren't nothing but crew. Still, he so much as looked at her funny, and he'd be meetin' the business end a Vera.

River's head jerked up, a rosy blush forming on her cheeks. Spike paused in his game, hearing her heart beat faster and the blush didn't go unnoticed. Spike growled a bit, wonderin' what had got the little bird all worked into a tizzy. River's head snapped around and she glared at him pointedly.

"Jealousy doesn't suit either of you," she scolded, turning lightly on her heel and heading for the mess.

Spike saw Jayne's head lift a bit as she stalked out of the cargo bay. Despite his concern, he felt a smirk form on his lips. So the big man was thinkin' dirty thoughts bout his little bird, was he? Have to set a bloke straight. Too bad he missed the combat boot as it thwacked powerfully into his face.


	7. It Hurts

**Title:** It Hurts  
**author:** jmaria  
**Rating:** PG  
**pairing:** Spike, River, Jayne  
**joss100 Set, Prompt:** 2, #074. Truth  
**Words:** 241  
**Disclaimer:** Joss owns them, I do not pout  
**Summary:** Spike gives some advice  
**A/N:** Set after _Objects in Space,_ and in the same 'verse as _I Find You Irksome _(a Simon, Illyria centric fic). Also, some Spike dialogue is heavily lifted from season 3 episode "Lover's Walk"  
**Set (because we all know the insanity that is me):** Little Girl with a Big Gun - 3/6.

_It Hurts_

Jayne stomped off the ship again at the next town, angrier than he'd be willing to admit. River watched from the catwalk, her fingers clenched tightly around the metal railing, her eyes watering a bit.

That was how Spike found her twenty minutes after Jayne had left. She still watched the space that he had occupied, her knuckles white as she tried to find her balance.

"The oaf go off for a bit of trim, then?" Spike asked quietly, laying a hand on hers.

"It is customary. His favorite place is here on Beaumonde, as is Sheena," River said in clipped tone.

"That make you angry, love?"

"No, we're associates. We've no external bonds," she snapped.

"Don't mean you don't want to have 'em," Spike grinned.

"We're not friends, he doesn't even like me."

"You're right, you're not friends. You'll never be friends. You'll be in love till it kills you both. You'll fight, and you'll shag, and you'll hate each other until it makes you quiver but you'll never be friends. Love isn't brains, children, it's blood - blood screaming inside you to work its will. I may be love's bitch but at least I'm man enough to admit it."

"It's not love, Spike," River said quietly. "Can't know love."

"No, Bird, but it's the truth." Spike wrapped his arm around his broken bird. He was gonna have to have a talk with that dumb oaf for hurtin' his bird.


	8. Tense and Terse

**Title:** Tense and Terse  
**author:** jmaria  
**Rating:** PG  
**pairing:** Spike, River, Jayne  
**joss100 Set, Prompt:** 2, #067. Choices  
**Words:** 178  
**Disclaimer:** Joss owns them, I do not pout  
**Summary:** You broke my Bird  
**A/N:** Set after _Objects in Space,_ and in the same 'verse as _I Find You Irksome _(a Simon, Illyria centric fic).  
**Set (because we all know the insanity that is me):** Little Girl with a Big Gun - 4/6.

_Tense and Terse_

Spike stormed into the nearest whore house prepared to beat Jayne into a nice bloody pulp. He didn't expect to find the big man knocking back drinks in the bar and not off with one of the whores. Spike frowned.

"Well, you certainly know how to take the wind outta a bloke's sails, dontcha?" Spike snapped, taking the empty seat behind him.

"Whaddya want?" Jayne grumbled.

"I wanted to kick the crap outta you, but you just had to be a pathetic sod, didn't you?"

"Like you could."

"You made my bird cry, tha's enough for me." Spike frowned, sitting down on the stool next to him.

"I didn't do nothing to make crazy cry. All's it take's the wind blowin' the wrong way to stir her up."

The door behind them slapped open, the wood hitting hard against the walls. They both glanced over their shoulders to see River run t

"Aw hell, didja both gotta come to track me down!" Jayne yelled.

"She chooses Jayne, not Spike," River said breathelessly as she burrowed against his arm.


	9. Fair

**Title:** Fair  
**author:** jmaria  
**Rating:** PG  
**pairing:** Spike, River, Jayne  
**joss100 Set, Prompt:** 2, #093. Regret  
**Words:** 243  
**Disclaimer:** Joss owns them, I do not pout  
**Summary:** It's not fair, you should be happy.  
**A/N:** Set after _Objects in Space,_ and in the same 'verse as _I Find You Irksome _(a Simon, Illyria centric fic).  
**Set:** Little Girl with a Big Gun - 5/6.

_Fair_

Jayne took them both back to the ship, leaving them in the hold as he stomped off towards his bunk. River kept her head low, keeping Spike from seeing her face. Spike rolled his eyes at her.

"It's not fair," River murmured, watching Jayne go. "Doesn't play by the rules."

"You, for bein' the girl I know you are completely off your rocker," Spike muttered.

The genuis frowned at him. Jayne called her crazy all the time, Simon had even called her crazy - of course that was before he met Illyria.

"Life ain't fair, ducks. You're gonna stand by and let him walk away from you? Let all that regret and angst pollute my headspace for the next few months or years?" Spike pulled out a cigarette from the pocket of his duster. "Truth be told, most blokes get off on a girl bein' in command. Simperin' dolls what need to be waited on hand an' bleedin' foot are enough to make a holy man unholy. Never thought a girl like you'd give up so easily."

Spike was halfway out of the bay himself when River's boot collided heavily with the back of his head. Spike growled at her as she slipped out of her other boot and slithered her way up the cargo to the catwalk closest to the crew quarters.

"Two words, ducks -"

"Drusilla, was simpering and unstable," River snapped.

"This comin' from the picture of bloody mental health?"


End file.
